By Michael Patrick O’Brien–
I like the toast our high-tech toaster makes. But that did not stop me from wondering whether the fancy new device will invite a Russian cyberattack on our nice little Cottonwood Heights home.
The toaster seems very digital. Each morning, I push a button from a laptop-like display to designate what I want to cook (bread, waffle, bagel, etc.) and how brown I want it.
No more old-fashioned analog-like knobs to control burn levels. No more pushing the handle down three times because the knob does not work.
All that was quite nice until I read about the recent refrigerator cyberattack in France.
Hackers invaded the control systems of some 700 food retailers, instructed the refrigeration devices to defrost, and in the process destroyed thousands of euros worth of food. Recent news reports blame the Iranians for this attack. France is preparing an appropriate response.
All this probably happened because today we live in the era of the “internet of things.” The internet of things refers to “a network of physical devices, vehicles, appliances, and other physical objects that are embedded with sensors, software, and network connectivity, allowing them to collect and share data.”
That probably includes our own home’s garage door opener, our smart TV, and our thermostat. And Lord knows what else.
Sometimes I fear I’ll come home from work one day to find that the Iranians have left our garage open. Or watched ahead a few episodes on our current NetFlix streaming binge show.
If a charge for an X-rated movie appears on our on-demand bill, I definitely am blaming the Russians. In retaliation, they might blast the air conditioner in the middle of December.
I think my wife Vicki controls all of these internety-things via the internet. Like magic, she can open and close the garage door from blocks away.
Unlike the internet of things, the internet connects phones and computers. I am pretty sure Vicki has those devices protected by passwords and two-factor authentication. She’s pretty smart and savvy that way.
Our toaster probably is safe from foreign tech skullduggery too. It does not seem to be online. Vicki cannot cook waffles via her phone. At least I don’t think she can.
As an extra precaution in this brave new world, however, we did remove the Amazon Alexa AI assistant from the house. I had enjoyed asking her to sing or tell jokes, and even had some good chats about theology with her and Siri.
But Alexa sealed her fate one day when she started making unsolicited comments and laughing mysteriously when Vicki or I talked with each other. Was that just Alexa trying to fit in, or some other nefarious interloper controlling her?
I suspect the latter. So we put Alexa back in her shipping box and packed her away in a closet, probably somewhere with the Christmas decorations we never use anymore.
That oughta make the Russians or Iranians think twice about messing with us again.
*Mike O’Brien (author website here) is a writer and attorney living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Paraclete Press published his book Monastery Mornings, about growing up with the monks at the old Trappist monastery in Huntsville, Utah, in August 2021. The League of Utah Writers chose it as the best non-fiction book of 2022. Mike’s new holiday novel, tentatively titled “The Merry Matchmaker Monks,” will be published in time for a future fun Christmas read.
