If Jews had saints…

By Michael Patrick O’Brien–

In a shady grove at the Shaarey Tzedek (“Gates of Righteousness”) cemetery in the foothills of Salt Lake City, I placed a small red rock on the newly-consecrated headstone of a man I had never met. An unusual Wednesday morning indeed.

Giving power to the old saying “better late than never,” my dear friend Jathan Janove had asked me there to finally “meet” his dear and departed friend Bernard A. (“Bert”) Spiegel (11/18/28 to 3/31/17). Jathan invited me to the consecration service with a well-crafted appeal guaranteed to peak my interest. He said, “If Jews had saints, Bert would be named one.”

I asked Jathan to tell me more about Bert. He let me preview a small book he had edited, full of wonderful family and friend memories of the man. I read some colorful descriptions─of a consummate gardener and outdoorsman with massive white eyebrows and mischievous blue eyes, of a loving father to his wife Lois, and of an involved and doting father to his children and grandchildren. I learned he was a devoted teacher and school psychologist, often for troubled adolescents who most needed his help. He welcomed newcomers, connected people, and created community, all with “limitless curiosity” and as a “virtuoso listener.” I read how with a combination of “boyishness and sophistication,” Bert “focused on the larger forces that make the world turn.”

Many of the people who wrote about Bert also showed up to consecrate his headstone. I stood at the edge of the crowd. The rabbi led us in prayers and then Bert’s children unveiled the engraved stone. Rather than call him “beloved,” the stone instead proclaimed that Bert was “treasured.” Very nice touch. As if on cue, halfway through the service a young deer strolled by the assembly, perhaps Mother Nature’s own quiet tribute to one of her favorite sons. Bert’s daughter then explained how her father “did not get old, he evolved” because he never seemed to either learn or do enough. She said that his legacy question to all of us is simple: “how will you evolve?”

Eventually, Jathan distributed his memory book to Bert’s family of admirers. Good friend that he was, Jathan gave Bert the last word in the book, quoting a few of the things Bert once said that life taught him:

– Live in the present, don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future.

– Savor each pleasure- slowly before you swallow.

– Follow your own bliss- no one else’s.

– You don’t have to be perfect- no one else is.

– Do the best you can- that’s all anyone expects.

– Clean up your own mess.

– Trust your wife- she’s always right.

– Do what you’re told- it will save time.

– You have only one life- you’re not practicing.

– Spend some time alone each day and listen to the silence.

After the lovely service, I turned to Google to better understand why we had placed rocks on Bert’s headstone. Of course, there are various explanations online, but my favorite was this one: “In life, people may enjoy the beauty of their physical surroundings, but when they die, all of their material possessions and beauty are meaningless and left behind. It is only their accumulated spiritual wealth that remains immortal, just like a rock, which stays forever.” (See https://www.chabad.org)

Accumulated spiritual wealth. By such an accounting, Bert really was a rich man. I am glad I finally got to meet him.