What’s in a name? Some thoughts on Karen

By Michael Patrick O’Brien–

In our internet-fueled, twenty-four-hour-news-cycle, social-media-meme-dominated, attention-deficit-disordered world, we often are attracted more to form than to substance. For example, consider the way we treat the name “Karen” today.

We toss the name “Karen” around as an insult, as an encompassing label for all sorts of undesirable behavior, or even as a cheap way to get a laugh, without ever really thinking about either the origins of the name or the character of the people who still bear it. To try and repent from this sin of appellation, I recently took some time to contemplate those very things.

From what I have read, in English Karen is a feminine given name derived from Catherine or Katherine. The shortened version appears to have originated in Denmark during medieval times, with the associated meaning of purity of heart and soul. St. Karen or Karin, is the Swedish translation for St. Catherine of Sweden. This Karen is known as the Catholic patron saint who brings comfort to those suffering from miscarriages. 

Karen is not, however, just a western or even a “white” name. The name is found in Japan, artfully combining the words meaning “flower” and “lotus or water lily.” In Armenia and Iran, Karen is used for men or as a surname, and it even has been the distinguished moniker for several Iranian princes.

The name was quite popular in the English-speaking world in the mid-twentieth century, peaking as the third most popular girl name in 1965. In short, the name Karen has had a perfectly respectable and even lovely history to it. Why and how did that change?

I have read about several theories. A July 31, 2020 New York Times article (“A Brief History of ‘Karen’”) by Henry Goldblatt explains that the denigration of the name probably started with a character in a 2005 Dane Cook comedy album. Goldblatt writes that other possible origins include Amanda Seyfried’s portrayal of a vapid high school girl named Karen in Mean Girls or a 2017 Reddit account based on the rants of a spurned husband and his ex-wife named Karen.

Whatever the genesis, according to a May 6, 2020 article in The Atlantic (“How ‘Karen’ Became a Coronavirus Villain”) by Kaitlyn Tiffany, the once gentle and pleasant name has devolved into something much different. Quoting a meme researcher, Tiffany writes that a “Karen” has a defining essence of “entitlement, selfishness, a desire to complain,” or is someone who “demands the world exist according to her standards with little regard for others, and she is willing to risk or demean others to achieve her ends.”

Goldblatt’s article also notes numerous instances of women named Karen—hailing from a variety of races, economic classes, and ethnic backgrounds—understandably troubled by how their name has been hijacked and vilified. Ironically, the criticized “Karen” behaviors have been perpetrated by women who do not even bear that name.

It’s a classic example of our repeated tendency to oversimplify things, to label and to judge people, instead of looking at them in a deeper, more complete, or more nuanced way.

If Shakespeare’s Juliet had just generically described what she loved about Romeo to her friends and family, they likely would have loved him too. Unfortunately, Romeo bore the “Montague” name that the Capulets detested, forcing Juliet to ask a very relevant question, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. made the same basic point about mindless labels in his famous “I Have A Dream” speech delivered on August 28, 1963 from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Dr. King said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Abraham Lincoln searched for a more constructive path in his March 4, 1865 second inaugural address, delivered just a month before he died. He might have recommended kneejerk vengeance against anyone who had opposed his presidency or policies, but instead suggested “malice toward none, with charity for all.”

I know several wonderful women named Karen. One is widow who cared tenderly for her dying husband and then raised their two sons into fine young men. Another is a dedicated and leading supporter of the local arts. Yet another has devoted her life to helping people resolve disputes, taking to heart the biblical admonition that blessed are the peacemakers. There are many other good examples too.

In fact, one of the best persons I have ever known is named Karen. My sister Karen is not entitled and rarely complains about anything or anyone. She is thoughtful, kind, uplifting, compassionate, and beloved by anyone who takes the time to get to know her.

She was a high school senior when our parents divorced in the early 1970s. Instead of going off to college as was her right to do then, as an accomplished 18-year old high school scholar, she got a job and helped support her financially struggling family. She distinguished herself as a bright, dependable, diligent, and collaborative co-worker.

Years after this uncommon selfless teenage act, which I recount in my soon-to-be published memoir Monastery Mornings, my sister Karen eventually returned to—and paid her own way through—college. She attended at night and on weekends. Having typically cared for everyone else’s needs first, she married late, and thus suffered and struggled to become a mother herself.

Yet, she persevered and finally did so, making the world a better place with her three kind and thoughtful daughters. Looking to their mother as an example of faith, hope, and love, my sister Karen’s daughters are actively engaged in and concerned about their communities. Unlike the ugly Karen meme, the daughters of the flesh-and-blood Karen love their neighbors as themselves.

And so I am very confused and quite perplexed whenever I hear people toss about the name Karen as an insult, as a denigrating meme, or as a form of cheap humor. I want to introduce these people to my sister Karen. If they met her, I think they would love her too, and I cannot help but believe that they might also find a more precise and less simplistic way to express their opinions about people who engage in undesirable social behaviors.

*Mike O’Brien is a writer and attorney living in Salt Lake City, Utah. His book Monastery Mornings (found here), about growing up with the monks at the old Trappist monastery in Huntsville, Utah, will be published by Paraclete Press (more information here) in August 2021.