By Nick Blaylock–
(Blog note: Link to Part 1 (you might actually need it) – https://theboymonk.com/stream-of-consciousness-what-should-i-do-part-1/ )
1 Kings 19
Elijah is a really great person, but he is in a world of trouble. Most people around him are pretty terrible, some threatening to kill him. Elijah tells God he wants to die – God feeds him – Elijah goes into a cave (because that is what you do when people are trying to kill you and even God won’t let you die OR when life is so terrible but you know giving up still would not fix your suffering).
God to Elijah: “What are you doing here?”
The form of a question… God wants our participation. He could care less that He could simply tell us what to do. He would always prefer we come to a conclusion through ourselves – not by ourselves, but through.
He cares about our answers. Sure, this question could be rhetorical (If you have somewhere else you could be, then why aren’t you there?). But it could also be a real question. Not because God needed an answer, and not because God doesn’t know; if God is the very essence of all that is life, most likely He is not actually wondering what Elijah was doing. It could be a real question so Elijah would self-reflect, ask himself that same question and find something about the heart of his actions.
What are your convictions for being here? What is your drive? What is motivating you? I want you to live a life of purpose, conviction, and faith. That is what I called you to. That is a healthy mindset, able to live an abundant life. Are you moving from that place?
So, I guess it is a little bit of both…
If you were moving from that place, we probably would not be having this conversation.
Elijah to God: “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me to.”
(I am so good at life, but everyone else isn’t… I am the only one in the world who is like this and has this problem so I am just going to hide and not do anything anymore.) – A valid feeling that, I would argue, everyone experiences.
God to Elijah: “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Side note: Elijah is going to stand in God’s presence while God passes by – oxymoron, but that is probably God’s point. Even where I am not, there I am.
Wind tore the mountains apart before God, but God was not in the wind
Earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake
Fire, but God was not in the fire
Gentle whisper…
“After this, Elijah pulled off his cloak and stood at the mouth of the cave.” (The guy didn’t even go where God told him to go, and he was hiding in his hoodie… lack of trust in, or under estimation of, God’s ever-presence.)
God repeats: “What are you doing here?”
How many of us have looked for the neon signs (nod to Rob Bell [apparently, I am all about nodding {part 1 reference, I found it!}]) when the voice we need to hear is a soft whisper, asking us questions that will allow us to ask ourselves the right questions and move forward with conviction.
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To note, I spent most of this part 2 having little to do with part 1, until that past thought. This was not intentional, but maybe appropriate. I say this because the original theme was the question, “What should I do”. The more I got into it, though, the more that question became irrelevant. Because it is not about what we should do, as something superimposed by a super-being in an earthquake or a neon sign in the clouds. It is about what we should do because we have quieted our minds so much as to hear the whispered questions of life, gently pulling us toward a new tomorrow, an expanded self, and a more vast, deep experience of reality; that which includes the interconnectedness, interdependency, and oneness inherent.
And maybe the best part, this story ends with God telling Elijah that there are ten thousand others like him and it’s going to be ok. Our pain matters. Our suffering is important. God does not bother with dumbing down our scenarios or belittling our doubts and fears when we are still in our times of vulnerability in an attempt to make us better. The Divine is a better parent than that, a better lover than that. When we are ready though, God is the first to let us know that everything is going to be ok, life is more than this moment, death will never have the final say.
