By Jathan Janove (Guest Contributor)–
Since the bars were closed this St. Patrick’s Day, I figured I needed to do something different with my old friend Michael Patrick O’Brien, creator of The Boy Monk blog. So instead of us hoisting a few pints, I interviewed him using questions I recently asked my Aunt Inga and Uncle John. Here are his answers.
Here it is St Patrick’s Day, and COVID-19 seems to be all anyone is talking about. What comes to mind with you?
I think of my ancestors who suffered during the Irish Potato Famine. It fundamentally altered Irish society and brought the reality of death to everyone’s door. I think about my great great grandparents who came to this country in the mid-1800s to escape the famine. I think of the young wife and one-year-old child another great grandfather left behind when he died in 1891 during an outbreak of tuberculosis.
I also think of my mom telling me about the blackouts, food shortages, rationing and other deprivations during World War Two.
These things come to mind and create an introspective St Patrick’s Day holiday, which is not normally the case. I don’t think of carousing; I think about the meaning of things, what really counts.
Given the choice of anyone, whom would you want as a dinner
guest and what would you talk about?
Abraham Lincoln for three reasons. (1) Thanks to COVID-19, I’m in need of a few good jokes. Mr. Lincoln was a master joke-teller. (2) As a lawyer, I would love to get Mr. Lincoln’s observations and insights on the practice of law – How to properly litigate a case, how to negotiate and how to settle. (3) I’d like his thoughts on persevering through difficult times. Mr. Lincoln lost a beloved child, had to be a caretaker for his family, suffered his own health issues – all the while leading the Union through the Civil War. How did he manage? What gave him strength? What advice would he offer for those of us trying to persevere through difficult times? These would be questions I’d ask.
What’s something in your life for which you feel grateful?
Family and friends.
If the current you could provide real-time advice to the much younger you, what would it be?
Ask questions of my mother and siblings about their lives. Get beyond just genealogy. Put the flesh on the bones, gather the stories, what made them laugh, what made them cry, what challenges did they have to overcome. Ask lots and lots of questions. That’s what I would tell my younger self.
What would you change about the way you were raised?
Growing up, there wasn’t money for music lessons. If there was a do-over, we’d find a way to scrape up enough money so that I could learn the piano or guitar and how to read music. Things are things I wish I could do today.
What’s a treasured memory?
The Huntsville, Utah monastery, where from age 11 to 21, I spent two to three days a week. The monks became my friends and mentors. My experiences at this monastery were vitally important in my growth and development as a human being.
I’ll confess, however, to having sometimes been bored listening to the monks’ chants. Today, however, I would pay lots of money to listen to those chants again.
What’s an embarrassing moment in your life you’re willing to share?
Oh boy, where do I begin?!
I’ll give you a professional example. Very early in my career, I had a hearing scheduled in federal court. It was on my calendar, but I got preoccupied.
The phone rang. It was the judge. He was not happy. In a voice dripping with sarcasm, he said, “Mr. O’Brien, are you planning to join us at this hearing, which has just begun?”
I reacted as if a sensitive body part had been touched by a cattle prod. I sat bolt upright in my chair and, “Yes! Yes! Yes, Your Honor! I’m so sorry! I will be there within two minutes!”
“Fine,” the judge replied, “Just make sure you bring along your checkbook.”
I dashed out of the office and, in my three-piece suit, sprinted down Main Street. I bound up the courthouse steps and rushed into the courtroom. As I desperately tried to overcome my panic and catch my breath, the judge laid into me. He gave me a stern lecture on punctuality, really letting me have it.
He then addressed my opposing counsel, evidently soliciting support to make me feel even worse. However, my opponent surprised him. “Your Honor,” she said, “I don’t think sanctions are necessary. I suggest we move on.”
This took the righteousness out of the judge’s indignation. We proceeded with the hearing, and I wasn’t sanctioned.
This experience had important learning lessons. From opposing counsel, I learned the importance of civility toward your opponents. From the irate judge, I learned the importance of paranoia. Decades later, if I have a hearing scheduled, it will be recorded in at least three different places. Thanks to technological developments since that experience, I also use computerized alarms. If you want a good example of OCD, just observe me with my calendar.
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash. What would you save?
In the old days, when Vicki and I got married, you know – the horse and buggy days – you hired a wedding photographer who came out, took the pictures, gave them to you, but kept the negatives.
I very much doubt those negatives exist today. Thus, in my last dash, there’s no question what I’d grab: our wedding album.
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time?
Writing a book and getting it published about my growing up off the beaten path, and how a group of ascetic Catholic monks watched over me.
In the last five years, I’ve made a lot of progress on the writing part, but not so much progress on the publishing part. If I had $1 for every time my book proposal was met with publisher silence or rejection, among other things, I could easily afford those music lessons.
I remain optimistic, however. Recently, I enlisted the services of someone who knows what he’s doing in the book publishing world. I believe that with his help, I might accomplish the publishing part, something I couldn’t accomplish alone.
Jathan Janove is Principal of Janove Organization Solutions, http://www.jathanjanove.com. Through consulting, executive coaching and training, he works with employers to create fully engaged workplace cultures. He also practiced law in Salt Lake City, Utah and Portland, Oregon.
