By Michael Patrick O’Brien–
(Note: this is the first article in a four-part series about the people, art, and architecture of my “Third Place,” the Utah Catholic parish church my wife and I have attended for three decades.)
In his 1989 book The Great Good Place, sociologist Ray Oldenberg argued that we all need “third places” in our lives, somewhere comfortable and comforting—apart from work or home—where we can meet people, experience community, and feel welcomed.
This was quite true for my young and small (but growing) family in the early 1990s, when my wife Vicki and I had busy lives at work and at home too.
We’d just bought a house and moved to a new neighborhood in a completely unfamiliar part of town. We had a dog and a toddler and two more children headed our way in the near future.
We had full plates. We needed a third place that might offer respite and rejuvenation, a chance to recharge our life batteries from time to time.
Fortunately, we stumbled upon St. Thomas More Catholic Church in Cottonwood Heights, Utah, just after the new church building opened in 1993. We’ve gone back again and again, almost every week, for over three decades now.
Why?
One reason, of course, is the people. We’ve made many friends. Folks we see only a few times a week have prayed for us, asked about us, sent us kind notes, and offered congratulations and condolences during the best and worst moments of the last 30 years.
They’ve been ceaselessly kind and patient as we’ve navigated the astounding and confounding roles of parenthood: stressed newbies, distracted herders, exhausted chauffeurs, perplexed teenager-watchers, and forlorn empty nesters.
We’ve also known most of the devoted Catholic priests who have served as pastor there, good but unique men. (An interesting history of the parish is available here.)
The gentle Fr. Terry Moore, with the lilting Irish brogue in his soft voice, baptized two of our three children.
My friend from boyhood days—Fr. Joe Mayo—always greeted us with an energetic smile and a fond recollection of our past times together in Ogden.
The clever (and rather mischievous) Fr. Dave Van Massenhove kept our youngsters engaged in church services by reading them children’s stories (especially at Christmastime) and telling “Dad jokes” during each and every sermon.
The thoughtful and hardworking Fr. John Evans kept us safe during the pandemic and took on the difficult task of consoling my extended family as he buried and eulogized my brother Pete (whom he’d never met) after Pete took his own life in 2021.
Still, there’s always been something “more” to this third place of ours, an appeal beyond its wonderful people that drew us back again and again. But what was it?
One evening after church, I remembered the words of President John F. Kennedy: “I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit.”
I had my answer. And it was quite simple. St. Thomas More Church is a lovely place.
The Church features natural light, colorful art, and striking architecture that we’ve enjoyed for three decades now. It’s an example of the phenomenon Winston Churchill once described, “We shape our buildings and then they shape us.”
This answer begged another question—how did that happen? To find out, I’ve spent many hours digging through old newspaper archives and poring over bits and pieces of online research.
I’ve learned that a half dozen local artisans I’d never met before poured their hearts and souls into creating this wonderful third place that lifts my spirits week after week. And those artists have their own fascinating back stories too.
I’ll share some of them here over the next few weeks. Here’s a look ahead:
August 12, 2024: My Third Place: A Landmark Project for the Catholic Church (the story of the unique building design and the visionary priest and architect who imagined it.)
August 19, 2024: My Third Place: The Woodcarver and the Blacksmith (how the church’s stunning woodwork and granite anchor altar came to be, thanks to the deft and powerful touches of two local artisans.)
August 26, 2024: My Third Place: Not Your Average Statues or Stained Glass (the story of Utah immigrant women who crafted unusual statuary and stained glass with their uncommon artistic eye.)
(Photo from St. Thomas More Church.)
*Mike O’Brien (author website here) is a writer and attorney living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Paraclete Press published his book Monastery Mornings, about growing up with the monks at the old Trappist monastery in Huntsville, Utah, in August 2021. The League of Utah Writers chose it as the best non-fiction book of 2022.
