By Nick Blaylock–
Bill T. Jones, one of the last living pioneers of Modern Dance, visited the University of Utah in the Spring of 2017. The school of dance was lucky enough to have him come and speak to our students. Now, Mr. Jones is a force to be reckoned with. His “Q&A” became more of a sermon, eventually bringing some to tears, and not just positively. He was intimidating to say the least, but his overwhelming confidence was balanced by his insistence to challenge and strengthen our convictions. It was clear, this is how he loved, even if scary at face value. This may be a poor metaphor – coincidentally, Bill T. Jones has one of the most beautiful faces.
Near the end of his time, I was able to, better yet, mustered the courage to, raise my hand and ask a question, which was risky considering countless students had their questions torn to shreds by Bill T.’s wisdom. He had been speaking tangentially on the importance of creating from experience, even stressing at one point that this is the only way we can make work, from our own experiences. I began to think, there has to be a way someone can interact with a subject in which they have never had any experience. If not, issues of equality, justice, environmental health, etc. will only get worse. So, I asked Mr. Jones, “Is there a way someone can make work based on something they have had no experience?” He bowed his head and pursed his brow to think. After a few seconds, he responded, “I would say yes, empathy”. This was everything I needed to hear and more.
This idea of empathy in the context of experience vs. information has been floating around my head and popping up in my life for quite some time. A practical example might be: Which knows more about children, a teacher or a parent? Well, I have met some teachers that are better than some parents, and vice versa. So, a question like that is flawed. Two things that are for certain: studying does not mean you know everything, and just being a parent does not mean you are a good one.
On a macro scale, I see this between younger and older generations. In the young generations, it can become easy to believe one has all the answers just because of youth, progression, and being informed, sacrificing the wisdom of those gone before them. In the older generation, it can become easy to believe one has all the answers simply because of age and experience, sacrificing the passion and earnest pursuit of truth offered by those behind them. Once that happens, each generation can take the worst of the other, and paint the rest with that brush. An older person assuming the younger to be arrogant and mindless, just because they are young and speak with conviction, or the younger person assuming the older is “stuck in their ways” simply because of their age and conviction.
Short note on being “informed”. When questioned about rumors regarding his family, Denzel Washington answered with, “If you do not read the news, you are ill-informed. If you do read the news, you are misinformed. So, what do you do?” We do our best to do our best. We research what we think is relevant, healthy, fair, just, and assume we have not read it all and obtain the one right and true answer. We have an answer that is “right” enough to move us forward with conviction, but not too much to assume omniscience. My father recently shared, “at best we are partially omniscient,” oxymoron intended.
All of this is not to say we should be friends with everyone. Friends are beautiful gifts, those whose works of love do not feel like a job. What I do believe, is that we should love our enemies. Pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, OR, John Mark Comer, says loving our enemies is “the art of making them our neighbor”. Not everyone is a friend, but everyone is a neighbor, one whom I am wrapped up in the same cloth with.
Could we get to a place where we can break bread with those who disagree with us? What might our relationships look like if every once in a while, especially in the context of debate, we simply admitted, “You know, I do not know all of this for sure. I have only seen this in my life and read this and this. What do you think”? I am willing to bet, in many cases, the other’s ego would also dismiss itself from the center.
May we all have the wisdom it takes to flourish in our experiences, and the pursuit of truth in our lack thereof.
