By Jathan Janove (Guest Contributor)–
Harold Gray is a retired concert pianist and former professor of piano at Portland State University. He grew up in a small town in rural Georgia and later founded and ran the acclaimed Portland International Piano festival. He also performed internationally with the Florestan Trio.
Given the choice of anyone, whom would you want as a dinner guest and what would you talk about?
Gyorgi Sebok. He was a concert pianist who taught at Indiana University School of Music. Although he had a big ego like many great concert artists, when teaching, he took a different approach than other famous teachers. Instead of focusing on students winning competitions or indoctrinating them to play the same way he played, Sebok genuinely wanted to know how his students interpreted the music and what they thought was the best way to play it. He used to say, “control becomes a limitation” and “control less, get more.” He made you think.
One of the best compliments I ever received happened after I conducted a masterclass. One of the people attending came up to me and said, “You draw people out with questions. You sound just like Sebok.”
What’s something in your life for which you are grateful?
I’ll start with my parents. They grew up very poor in a small town in rural Georgia. Neither of their homes had indoor plumbing.
My dad had a high school education and found a good job. Later, he worked his way up at the CDC, then known as the Communicable Disease Center.
Although lacking a college education, my mother loved to read and had a passion for words. I can still hear her voice correcting me whenever I mispronounced or misused a word.
My older sister began playing the flute and loved it. But Mom insisted that a musician had to have the ability to play the piano. Despite not having much money, my parents bought a piano for my sister to play.
I was drawn to the piano and at age six, started to take lessons from a teacher who lived across the street. However, he soon kicked me out of his class, telling my parents, “Your son is too young!”
At age eight, I began studying piano with a local teacher, Ione Rakestraw. She was not much of a pianist or a teacher. However, I cherish her memory. She imparted to me an absolute love of music that set me on my life path.
If the current you could provide real-time advice to a younger you, what would it be?
Find out what you really want to do in life and pursue it. Don’t get distracted. For a while, I focused too much on what other people thought would be good for me, as opposed to following the passion I felt deep down.
What would you change about the way you were raised?
Nothing.
What’s a treasured memory?
I was just getting started in my career when the dean of the music school at Illinois State University offered me a scholarship to attend a week-long summer masterclass session with Gyorgi Sebok. I couldn’t have otherwise afforded it.
I spent a week at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. It was magical. Sebok mesmerized me with his playing and teaching. He set a foundation for me as a musician and teacher that has guided my life ever since.
If you could say something to a deceased friend, relative or colleague, something unsaid during that person’s lifetime, what would it be?
My parents did not live long lives. I always loved them but didn’t necessarily communicate it. I would say now, “Mom and Dad, I love you with all of my heart. Although I’m 76, I’m still your kid.” I’d probably add, “Sorry about being such a pain in the ass during high school.”
What’s an embarrassing moment in your life you’re willing to share?
I was invited to accompany a trombonist friend who’d won a competition. At Atlanta Symphony Hall, a thousand school children awaited our performance.
I made a last-minute trip to the bathroom before heading on stage. When I finished my business, I couldn’t get my zipper to close. After numerous failed attempts, I had to give up.
On stage, I bowed quickly and carefully, and sat down at the piano, doing my best to play without being distracted by the sight of my gapingly open zipper.
Many years later, I can laugh at my predicament. At the time, however, I was horrified!
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash. What would you grab?
Unless I acquire the strength of Hercules and can lift and carry out two grand pianos, there’s nothing in particular I would be desperate to grab.
As a longtime Buddhist, I have learned not to get caught up with possessions. They can be replaced. And eventually, I won’t need them anyway.
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time that you haven’t yet done?
I have loved traveling around the world and went to France every year for 24 years. I’ve suffered some health setbacks that have restricted my ability to travel. However, I’m hopeful that my health will permit me to take a planned trip next year to the Rhone River Valley.
What do you find spiritual in life?
I meditate twice a day. The first is guided. I am encouraged to explore my inner spiritual life, including how I treat my fellow human beings on a daily basis, and how I can transform negative feelings about others into compassion.
I’ll admit that on some days when mediating, instead of thinking about the spiritual life, I fall asleep. Oops!
Jathan Janove is Principal of Janove Organization Solutions, http://jathanjanove.com. Through consulting, executive coaching and training, he works with employers to create fully engaged workplace cultures. He also practiced law in Salt Lake City, Utah and Portland, Oregon.
